So Monday is my usual day off. I work Tuesday thru Saturday. Sunday is usually reserved for church and family stuff. My goal on Mondays is to do the things I don’t get a chance to do when I am balancing work, picking up kids and making dinner. I often find myself with numerous lofty goals on my checklist but with very few checks next to items completed. I find that I am often frustrated with myself because I have not successfully completed these goals. I find that I often begin to look around my house and see the undone laundry or see that closet that has yet to be cleaned and begin to feel like I have failed. I don’t reflect on what I have been able to accomplish. I only zero in on what has yet to be done. My transparency in this moment of writing is to serve a dual purpose. First, to identify that I like anyone else am not perfect. Secondly, I want to use my own experience as a study of how to walk through the process of moving from feeling inadequate to a place of acceptance.
First, I think it’s important to acknowledge that as human beings we have limits. We need rest. We need time to recharge. Creating a task oriented schedule that doesn’t allow for this time leads to stress. This stress can have negative physical, emotional, and psychological consequences. Once you determine the type of rest that is needed, be intentional about allowing this for yourself. Don’t allow feelings of guilt or regret to change your perspective about prioritizing rest. Remember rest is necessary to give you the energy you need to achieve your goals and complete tasks.
Secondly, don’t compare yourself to others. You have your path and they have their path. It is easy to presume that someone else has it all together because of what you see on the surface. The secret is, we all have struggles. Her kitchen may be spotless but you don’t know what is hidden in her closet, both literally and figuratively. Comparing yourself to others will never allow the opportunity for you to reflect on all you have been able to accomplish. This unhealthy comparison serves as a distraction preventing you from positive self-reflection.
Finally, having your list is necessary in order to help prioritize what is important. However, what is often ignored is the idea that your list should be realistic and flexible. Basically, Instead of believing you can wash, fold, and put away every piece of laundry in the house in one day, shorten your goal to two loads that day. Understand and remind yourself that whatever isn’t done today can be worked on tomorrow with the goal of eventually placing that check on your list.
Alicia M. Lurry LPC